so yesterday i went to sri pentas tv3 bandar utama to participate in an audition for a singing competition show called mentor for their 6th season..to be honest the reason why i participate on the event yesterday not cuz i want to be famous, i didnt even have the slides intention to even get picked for the show,i just went there to try my luck and to find out weather i have the talent or i am good enough to be somebody.. that's why yesterday i chose to sing my own song (dear amy) for the audition to find out if my song writing skills is good or should it all be be a dream..cuz for my whole life people keep telling me that i am not good enough,i will never succeed with what i am doing, im always second best and stuff like that and it really messed up my self-esteem as person..cuz im not smart,so i know i cant be a scientist or something. im not tall enough or pretty enough to be a model. im not talented enough to be a painter and ext..even though i love doing all of that but i know my one true calling is music..cuz ever since i was a child, my mom had always encouraged me to chase my dreams and she always cast me in our town's local talent shows..and even though i never won anything but when i am up there on stage and singing my heart out i feel like "this is it, this is my destiny, i am born for this"..but when people say that i dont have the voice im too weird i am this and that it killed my passion for quiet a while..but luckily after a few years i learned to block those negative things out from my head and now i it what sets me free..cuz when i sing and perform on stage all of my troubles just fade away and i feel invincible..almost like im in another world..
okay im gonna stop with the sob story and start to tell the story of what happened yesterday at the auditions, cuz i know most of the people who knew that i went there wants to know the outcome rite..okay so here's the story..
i got there approximately at 1 o'clock.. i was shy to get out of the car cuz i dressed so weirdly yesterday that i know people are going to stare..but i gather all my guts n just marched through the door and took a form and waited in line for almost half an hour..and boy i was a pain in the a**.. cuz i was wearing a 3inch platform pumps and just imagine the pain..then i got my turn number an it was:
i got my turn number at probably 2.15 PM but i finally got to audition at 7-8 PM i think..when i had to go into the audition room to meet with Faizal Tahir i had to audition with 5 other people and i was the third in line.. the person who sang first i mat her earlier when i was in line,she was the one who said hai to me cuz i was too shy to approached anyone yesterday..and when i look at her face i automatically knew that her voice gotta be awesome cuz the way she talks and stuff just sounds like a person who got a great voice n her face is also so freaking pretty:> her name was ila i think..when everyone including me had finished singing Faizal Tahir called out the names of the people who didnt got picked, and i was one of them..but seriously i wasnt dissapointed cuz i came without any intention to win or anything i just want my song to be heard..but i was a bit sad cuz i thought maybe im not that good that's why they didnt picked me,but i a optimistic person so even though i was down i kept a smile on face cuz i dont wanna tell my brain that im sad cuz that will make me feel like shit so i just smile..
then suddenly i heard someone called my name and i searched the room, and i saw audi mok was signalling me to come the the judges table..i was "did i do something wrong??" or something..
he looked me straight in the eye and told me that, "we didnt picked you not cuz you're not good,but cuz mentor is not suitable for you, cuz it will ruin your image and your talent, cuz you are already an artist and you are better than what the main stream can offer you, with mentor they might pull away your identity cuz u have your own thing" and stuff like that.. so then i asked them weather my song is good enough for them and when they both said yes, i immediately went into shock! my whole life people are always trying to bring me down, they say that i will never be anything, i am just a dreamer, i am too weird, and stuff sometimes it makes me think that maybe they are right..cuz i am never first in anything i do,i never won anything in my life i had never achieved anything great in my life and i am always considered as a disappointment to my family,my friends,teachers n everyone i guess..n to hear that from someone like audi mok n faizal tahir is seriously the highlight of my 21 years of life on this earth!!! my eyes was filled with tears cuz i was so overwhelmed by the things that they said ..cuz i never get any compliment like that in my whole life and for it to come on the times where my life is going through such a hell is really the best thing ever! he also told me to contact him through his facebook cuz he got something in stored for me and faizal tahir even asked how to find my youtube videos cuz he would like to watch them..i was over the moon!!!
after all that drama i went out from the room still with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face these two people in the picture above approached me and asked me why am i crying for..they thought i cried cuz i didnt get in but when they heard my story they automatically thinks that i need to go back in to the room and asked Faizal tahir to accept me but i said no! cuz that's not what i am here for..than they told me to go back in there and tell them how much i appreciate what they had said to me cuz they want to record it again..at first i didnt want to partake in the whole thing cuz i dont want to be a fake to do that just for television but they told me its not drama but just to get my story straight so that the people who had put me down, talked trash about me knows that audi mok n faizal tahir appreciate me and accepted me as an artist and as a human..
so i had to talk to them again n stuff..i was so embarrassed cuz i cant stop my eyes from watering when i talked to them cuz they are so nice to me and said things that literally will change my life forever and faizal tahir even said to me to never stop being who i am, never try to impress anyone and dont stop making music n stuff..i cried tears of joy last night!!
then after that they took me into another room the record me singing dear amy n to do an interview on me..but before we start shooting audi mok's friend Genevieve came into the room and asked if she could have a talk with me n i said okay.. she told me that she want me to keep in touch with her cuz she is going to have a newr music channel n she want new act and she wanted me to be one of them n she said maybe we can record my song properly and make a video and stuff..i was so thrilled and the thing that she said that i cant get out of my mind is "weirdos are the ones that will change the world".. she said that cuz she heard me sayin how i was a weird kid when i was growing up and people didnt even want to be my friend cuz of it to both audi n faizal tahir..she made me cried once again..i was so touched by what she said..and i was so excited cuz i always thought that i will never made it as an artist but when she offered me that opportunity its like she had opened the door for good thing to come for me:>
then i had to do the interview and shoot the scene where i play my song, n while doing that the tv3 crew talked to me and tried to calm me down cuz i was crying..they are really nice and i really appreciate them for saying things to boost my confidence and make silly jokes to make me smile..tanx guys you guys are awesome..
at about 9 o'clock i had to shoot some other stuff for the show like walking though the crowd i was so tired but i did it anyways..even though it was so embarrassing cuz everyone was looking at me..i kept my head down cuz i was shy to make eye contact with anyone..and i was done at almost 9.15.. but although i was really tired but i think last night was the best night of my life because it changed my perspective in my life and i remembered that on new year's eve this year i said that i am turning 21 and i want to be a new n better person so what happened last night had made me a different n happier person..!! thanks so much you guys are awesome!!:')
okay even though i didnt got chosen to be one of the contestant in the show but i was happy cuz in the thousands of people that had audition today i was the only one that got called by audi mok n faizal tahir just to tell me that i have a future in this business but i just gotta work hard n never try to be anyone else but myself..(i even made faizal tahir wanna cry hehe i think)
i promise i will make you guys proud!!
|a candid picture that was taken by a tv3 crew|